The Lucid Dream
by Tanoshimi
Summary: For days, Mei's dreams have been haunted by a mysterious silver man who needs her lost memories. Should she help him, and what will be the effects on her relationships with friends and family?
1. Chapter 1

Hey! It's really been long time no see, though I guess that's all right because I've been having writer's block anyway. But my block is over, so I'm posting this fic(let?) to celebrate that (in addition to working on another big project! [shameless advertising]). Be prepared for tons of OOCness and bad writing, is all I can tell you.

Thanks and please go ahead!

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><p>"Where am I?" Immediately, echoes rang throughout the darkness; her voice rebounded back to her in desperate, trailing bursts. The sounds of her confusion unbalanced and blinded her senses. Before her, the silver man answered, as if she hadn't asked the same question all of the previous times that she had met him,<p>

"This is the Remscape." His voice did not echo but resonated instead.

"How did I get here?" Again, her words were deafening and again, the silver man replied patiently,

"Through your dreams."

She tried to walk closer to him. With each step, a circle of light sprang up underneath her foot. Many circles dotted the darkness, yet she did not seem to be getting any closer to the mysterious silver man who stood but a few feet away. Walking became running and running became dashing until she finally stopped and cried out in frustration,

"Who are you?"

The silver man only smiled sadly.

"It's time to wake up."

And she felt the blackness underneath her give way to oblivion.

* * *

><p>"But I <em>keep<em> having this dream," Mei explained exasperatedly, throwing the pad of sticky notes onto her desk. "It's not normal!"

"Well, it's not abnormal either," her coworker Lien countered. "A lot of people have reported having the same dream many times."

"But for six days in a row?"

To Mei's distress, Lien only offered an amused grin.

"You keep track?"

"That's not the point!" She clasped and unclasped her hands. "Should I go see a psychiatrist?"

The other woman snorted.

"You'd be better off seeing the fortune teller in the shack down the street. What do psychiatrists know?"

"Well, what should I do then?" Mei nearly hissed. Lien shrugged.

"What's your dream again?"

Mei thought for a while before replying,

"Every time, I'm in the middle of an endless black space. When I speak, there are deafening echoes. And…" She stopped, trying to remember. "There's always a man who glows silver. And he's always far enough so I can't reach him no matter how much I try. He said that we were in the Remscape."

"The Remscape?" Lien snorted. Mei scowled.

"The Remscape. And he says that I get there through my dreams. But whenever I ask him who he is, he just says that it's time to wake up." Looking at her coworker upon finishing her description, Mei was chagrined to see only Lien's blank stare. "Well?"

"…It sounds like nonsense," Lien concluded bluntly. Mei sighed in defeat.

"I know." It was almost the end of the break period; she probably wouldn't be able to convince Lien that this was a serious matter in the few minutes that they had left. "But I still have no idea what to do."

"Why is this so significant?" Lien questioned. When she saw Mei's troubled face, however, she sighed. "Maybe you should ask Kiku."

Mei paused, then nodded.

"Maybe that's the best thing to do."

Before she left the break room, she heard Lien call out a last piece of advice.

"And if I were you, I'd ask the man in your dream some different questions."

Mei stopped in front of the door, her fingers resting on the knob. Then she turned it and exited the room.

* * *

><p>"I'm home!" Mei slipped off her shoes and sneaked into the apartment. The kitchen light was on; she peeked into the room and saw someone at the counter. She smiled mischievously. Then she ran into the person with a flying tackle, hugging him around the waist. He gave a long-suffering sigh but smiled.<p>

"Welcome home, Mei."

"When did you get off from work?" she asked, craning her neck to see what he was doing. "And are you making tonkatsu?"

"Just an hour ago. And yes, I am; I know it's your favorite."

Mei gave him a kiss on the cheek before releasing him.

"Thank you, Kiku!"

He smiled in that charming, shy way only he could execute to perfection.

"No problem. You can go get changed; I'll set everything up."

She nodded gratefully and rushed to their room. Putting her things down, she readied herself for a shower, then stepped into the glass cubicle. There was still a trace of steam on the walls, showing that Kiku had been there not too long ago. Mei hummed as she washed.

Soon, she was able to dry off and join her partner at the dinner table. Halfway through the meal, she remembered something.

Ah, Kiku," She began, balancing a piece of breaded cutlet between her chopsticks. "Can I … ask you something?"

He nodded at her over his bowl of rice.

"Anything."

"Well…" How should she start? "I've been having dreams lately, and they always involve a silver man and something called the Remscape. It's been happening for six days now. Do you think I should see someone about that?"

Sensing Mei's worry, Kiku put his bowl and chopsticks down. He scrutinized her.

"Are you having any problems? Insomnia, hallucinations, those kinds of things?"

She shook her head. Kiku tilted her chin up, looking into her eyes.

"And does this really bother you?"

She thought hard.

"I guess not. To any significant degree, anyway."

He nodded slowly.

"Then maybe you should wait before going to see someone. If this ever gets serious, I know a psychiatrist. I can arrange an appointment with him."

Mei smiled at Kiku gratefully.

"Thank you. I'll do as you say, Doctor."

He grinned at her.

"Now the Doctor suggests that you prepare to go to bed. Though he would appreciate it very much if you helped wash the dishes."

She jumped up and carried their bowls to the sink.

"Anything for the number one physician!"

As she and Kiku cleaned the bowls and utensils, Mei reflected on their discussion. He and Lien were right, perhaps; the dreams were probably meaningless. Maybe work was getting to her head. She dried the last dish and went off to bed. Mei was feeling a lot more confident now. Maybe she wouldn't even have the dream tonight! With that thought in mind, she curled up next to her bedmate and closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to overtake her.

* * *

><p>"Where am I?" Echoing.<p>

"The Remscape." A cool, guiding voice.

"How did I get here?" A black sheet all around.

"Through your dreams."

Testing out her surroundings, she stomped on the darkness that she was suspended on; it caused a burst of light. How wrong she had been, for here she was, back with the silver man in the vacuum of black space. He was as unreachable as ever.

"Who—" Distantly, she remembered someone suggesting her to ask different questions. So instead of following her usual loop of inquiries, she asked instead,

"Why am I here?"

She thought she saw the silver man blink in surprise.

"So you've finally thought of something else to ask." Was that a smirk? "Well, that's a good question. But there's something else you need to ask before that."

She frowned in confusion, then tried,

"What is this place?"

"That will be answered eventually."

"Um… how can we be doing this?"

"Not quite."

She wracked her brain. What was she supposed to ask? She'd always been taught that all questions were correct, so how could there be a "right" question? Anyway, she'd never been good under pressure…

Suddenly, the silver man made a movement. She, thinking that he was going to leave, cried out in a last act of desperation,

"Why are you here?"

He smiled, much to her relief and astonishment.

"Good. Unfortunately, we'll have to save the answer for next time."

_Next time?_ she wanted to cry out, but the darknesss swallowed her before she could do so.

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><p>I know I always ask, and I know my chapters are always so short, but how was it? (Thank you for even reading this far!)<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

This is the second chapter! Don't know when I'll get to update, though...

Though I can't promise that this will be a good story, I'd be really glad if you read. :3 So please try to enjoy!

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><p>"The reason why I am here," the silver man said, his clear voice piercing through the space that separated them. "Is that I believe you have what I am searching for."<p>

She, standing the usual distance away, furrowed her brow.

"And what are you searching for?"

The silver man hesitated.

"There are more important things to explain first. Like the fact that the thing I am searching for is attached to a certain forgotten memory of yours."

"…What?"

"Yes." He crossed his arms. "Do you have any memories that you can't seem to recall anymore? Any instances that you once knew quite well but now can't even remember?"

"Well, yeah. Tons."

"What I am searching for can be linked to any one of these memories. If I find the right one, then you will be able to recover it. Therefore, I'd like to ask for your cooperation. "

She eyed him suspiciously.

"What do I have to do?"

He shrugged.

"Every night, I will meet you here in the Remscape. Each time, I need you to figure out one memory that you have lost. We will work together to find out which one is attached to what I am searching for. If we find the memory, you will regain it and I will cease to bother you. One memory a day is perfectly acceptable; if you can manage more, that will only speed up the process." He quirked his head in a questioning gesture. "What do you say? This task seems to be mutually beneficial."

"… And we have to do this everyday?" she asked suspiciously. The silver man clenched and unclenched his hand nervously.

"I understand that this is a lot, but I assure you—"

"Wait." She knitted her brows together, thinking. A man in a dream was asking for her lost memories so that he could find something that was attached to one of them. Would it be a good idea to help him? It was a ridiculously fantastical situation. There were probably lots of pros and cons too, except she couldn't think of them at the moment because her head was starting to hurt from the dizzying landscape… "I have to think about it."

"Think about it?" The silver man seemed disappointed.

She nodded fervently.

"I'll let you know some other time." It was the businessman's standard reply for rejecting someone gently. But the silver man didn't seem to be aware of that fact.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," he told her, nodding.

How was he so sure that he could guarantee that? she wondered. Anyway, she had no plans to dream about this place again. Now that she'd made contact with the silver man, perhaps something in the dreams would change. So it was with a smug assurance that she let the darkness overtake her.

* * *

><p>When Mei woke up, it was still dim outside. She glanced blearily at Kiku, who was still sleeping next to her, and then the clock, which flashed the red numbers 6:15. Sighing, she wondered if she should go back to sleep. She'd woken up already, though, so what was the point?<p>

She slid out of bed, trying not to disturb its other occupant, and made her way to the kitchen for some coffee. There were some instant coffee packets in the pantry; she dumped the contents of one into a mug and poured in hot water. As she raised the mug to her lips, she felt the fragrant steam help clear her thoughts.

Last night, she had encountered the dream man who had been haunting her dreams for days. He'd asked her to help him sort through her memories so that he could find something that he was searching for.

In retrospect, it sounded quite silly. Such a thing could only be a dream, right? Reality didn't work that way.

Still, what if it was her subconscious calling out to her for help? What if the silver man was a manifestation of her inner desire to relive her memories? Then she had to help herself by doing something. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt if she prepared a lost memory, just in case she happened to have that same dream again. So she probed her childhood for any forgotten recollections, remembered that she didn't know what had happened to her stuffed bear, and called it a day. While she was scribbling a memo on her notepad, Kiku made his appearance.

"You're up early," he yawned, going up to her and nuzzling her hair. "Any reason why?"

Mei debated telling him about the dream. But there was an innate sense deep inside her that told her it was something personal, something to be kept to herself. But she told Kiku everything and he did the same. Theirs was a bond of mutual trust…

"No reason, she told him brightly, concealing the scribbled note in her hand. "I just happened to wake up and couldn't fall asleep again."

"All right." Kiku yawned again. "Just don't tire yourself out."

"Okay," she called back, as he disappeared into the bathroom. "I'll make breakfast!" Already she felt guilty for keeping things from him, even something as pointless as dreams.

There was a long day ahead of her.

* * *

><p>"Any dreams last night?" Lien inquired leisurely as she and Mei stood by the water cooler. Mei cradled her cup in her hands and stared into it.<p>

"Maybe."

"Did you follow my advice?"

"Maybe. It might have worked, too."

Lien seemed satisfied at that.

"Well, anything else?"

"Not much."

"You seem distracted today."

She was, actually; against her will, she'd been thinking about her dream encounter throughout the office day. Several times she had caught herself staring blankly at the computer monitor. She had to get a grip. Smiling, she told her coworker,

"I just woke up too early this morning. It'll wear off with more coffee."

"You'd better hope so." Lien's eyes darted to the side. "Mr. Kirkland's coming. Come on, let's go back to our cubicles."

They scurried back to their posts. Mei waited until the boss had made his rounds before letting herself think again.

Maybe she was being anxious for nothing. Perhaps the silver man wouldn't even appear tonight.

(But if he did, she was prepared.)

* * *

><p>"You seem eager to go to bed tonight," Kiku commented, pulling her into him under the covers. "Long day?"<p>

"Sort of." Actually, it was because she wanted to find out whether the dreams had stopped for good. Mei realized that she was acting quite out of character (she usually preferred to stay up late) and changed the subject around. "What about you?"

Kiku shrugged.

"It's part of being a doctor. I've gotten used to it."

She nodded and kissed him on the mouth.

"Good night," she murmured, smiling at him tenderly. He smiled back and held her close. They both closed their eyes.

* * *

><p>She started. This darkness that was all around her, this sense of foreboding…<p>

She was back in the Remscape. The silver man was suddenly sitting cross-legged before her.

"Good evening," he greeted her pleasantly. "You seem surprised to see me again."

She decided not to act fazed and merely inquired,

"You wanted a memory, right?"

"Indeed."

"Well, here's one." She recited the memo that she had written in the morning. As she spoke, the silver man put his hands together in a prayer-like gesture. He appeared to be meditating. Even after she had finished, he remained still.

After a while, he roused himself and got up.

"No," he said, sounding rueful. "It's not connected to this one. But this is only the first try, so it's all right."

"That's… it?" She was slightly disappointed at how unceremonious the process was. The silver man crooked an eyebrow at her.

"What were you expecting?"

"Well… nothing." It didn't matter, anyhow. It also didn't make sense. If her subconscious wanted to relive her memories with her, shouldn't there at least have been a discussion?

The silver man scrutinized her closely.

"So, I suppose that this means you've decided to help me?"

"I'm still thinking, actually." Thinking about whether she was actually in this crazy situation.

"…Okay, I can see that you have questions. What are they?"

"Well," she mused, trying to find a suitable first stepping stone for figuring out this dilemma. "What is the Remscape? You never answered me that day."

He nodded.

"The Remscape is where people's subconsciouses manifest while they are not awake."

She frowned pensively.

"So, a dreamland?"

"Not quite. While in the Remscape, a dream situation can occur; your subconscious can go through a few abstract scenarios. But the Remscape itself is not a dream."

"Okay…" She thought. "So, you're an abstract scenario?"

"Not really." He smiled enigmatically. She frowned.

"What does that mean?"

"It's something you'll have to decide for yourself. Anyway, you've got to go. And if you decide to help, it's a memory a night."

She watched the silver man disappear from sight, wondering if he would be able to return even if she didn't want him to.

* * *

><p>Day found Mei open-eyed, lying in Kiku's embrace. She rubbed at the fabric of her pillow cover absently. This movement stirred her companion, who rubbed his eyes and blinked at her groggily.<p>

"It's Saturday," he told her, looking puzzled. "You don't have to get up so early."

She forced a laugh.

"I know. Sorry for waking you up."

He just pulled her to him and kissed the junction between her neck and shoulder. His lips tickled her skin. Mei stifled a giggle and flipped around to face him. She tapped his nose lightly with one finger, memorizing the ink-black of his hair, the deep-brown of his eyes. He caught her gaze.

"You're okay, right?" he asked anxiously, probing her features for any sign of disturbance.

"I'm fine," she assured him. Then she sat up and stretched. "I don't feel like making breakfast today. You?"

Kiku followed her lead and stood up by the side of the bed.

"Not particularly."

"Want to go out, then?"

"I don't mind." There was still some worry in his voice, but Mei figured that it was negligible. She went into the bathroom and tried to relax.

Soon after, they both got dressed and exited the apartment. The city was quieter at this time of day; there were some early birds strolling on the sidewalks, but the weekend rush had yet to come. Mei and Kiku held hands as they walked along. The former gazed at the grand brownstones that lined the avenue. Her companion detected the longing in her eyes and squeezed her hand.

"Someday we'll live in one," he promised, feeling a warm glow suffuse through him when he saw her light up. She brushed her lips over his cheek and pulled him into the little café up ahead. There, they ordered breakfast and sat down to eat at a little table by the front window.

Mei toyed with her raspberry danish before taking a tiny bite. She wondered about the silver man. He didn't seem malicious, but he was being rather secretive about his motives. Furthermore, there was the big question: why should she even listen to a man in a dream? She was a working adult, not a child. Was it foolish to help something that her mind had conjured up?

"Mei?"

"Huh?" She snapped back to the present, grounded by Kiku's questioning voice. She looked down at her hands; the raspberry filling of the danish was oozing out. Wiping it off with a napkin, she excused herself to the restroom. There, she stood at the sink, washing her hands and looking into the mirror. There were slight bags under her eyes, but some night cream and more sleep would fix that. More pressing was that she had been spacing out back at the table. She had to control herself. Dreams shouldn't affect reality, and this one was already starting to go a little overboard. Mei touched up her hair a little and went back outside. When she reached the table, she immediately burst out,

"I know I was dazing off. I'm fine; I was just thinking."

Kiku gave her a half-wondering, half-relieved grin.

"As long as you know. It would be even worse if you didn't realize what you were doing. But what were you thinking about?"

"Well…" She supposed it wouldn't hurt to tell him just one little thing. "My dreams."

Instantly, his eyebrows drew together.

"Are they bothering you?"

"No! I just, I don't know… They're interesting," she explained lamely. To her relief, Kiku laughed.

"All right. Well, at least your dreams are more interesting than mine."

_They're certainly strange_, Mei thought wryly. She sipped her coffee. Kiku watched her for a while before asking,

"So, what do you want to do today?"

Mei pensively ran her finger around the rim of her cup.

"I don't know."

He smiled teasingly.

"I do. You probably want to go shopping, right?"

Immediately, Mei's natural inclination to buy things roared to life. She turned to her companion with shining eyes.

"You know me better than I do. Okay! And this time I promise to use my own money."

He shook his head chuckling.

"Just don't overspend like last time. Ready?"

She gave her assent, and they left hand-in-hand to spend the day at the outlet nearby.

* * *

><p>"Why should I help you?"<p>

The silver man cocked his head at her words.

"You don't have to. But it would only benefit you."

"In what way?"

"Well, like I said before" (How long ago had that been? One night, two nights ago?) "You can regain a memory and be rid of me."

"Really?" Seeing as she had nothing to lose, she added scathingly, "You're just a figment of a dream."

"Am I?" The question resounded throughout the blackness. She was confused.

"Aren't you?"

"I know what I am. It all depends on how you perceive me. Does it really matter, though?"

"Well, yes."

He tapped his feet impatiently.

"Why?"

"Because if you are a dream, then I see no point in helping you. I'm a working adult who has no time to waste on things like this."

In the distance, the silver man smirked.

"Do you, by any chance, work in business?"

"Um, yes?" She was suspicious. "How do you know?"

"Because businesspeople are always going on about how they have to time to waste. Quick, quick, quick, that's what their motto is. At least, it was the motto of the businesspeople who I knew."

She squinted at him.

"And how do you know businesspeople?"

He grinned.

"Feel free to come to your own conclusions about that. But just remember: businesspeople are _real._" He regarded her silently for a moment. "Anyway, I won't force you to help me. But I will keep coming back night after night."

She felt vaguely threatened.

"You _come_ back? You can control where you go?"

"Yes."

"Can I?"

"Are you a psychic?"

"A… psychic?" She'd only heard that term used in the basis of jokes.

"Yes. Psychics. These are people who can control their subconsciouses and choose to meet other ones by assuming a dreamlike state."

"So, only psychics can choose which subconsciouses they meet?"

"Correct."

A pause.

"So psychics can control where they go and who they visit."

"Right."

She thought hard.

"Then why me?"

"Because your memories contain what I am searching for."

"How are you so sure I have it?"

The silver man didn't speak for a long time.

"I just have a feeling," he said finally, turning to face her fully. "That is why all of my hopes are riding on you. So please consider assisting me." His voice was earnest and pleading. It was the voice of someone honest, someone who truly needed help.

As the silver man had asked, she considered helping him as she was spiraling into the darkness.

* * *

><p>Um... yes?<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

... I know I haven't updated for a while. Sorry. :(

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><p>"Oh! Mr. Kirkland, I'm so sorry!" Mei stared in horror at the puddle of water forming at her boss' feet. The boss clutched his cup in his hand, looking perturbed, and dabbed at his wet tie with a handkerchief.<p>

"It's fine, Miss Wang, but may I see you in my office?"

Feeling a sense of trepidation, Mei followed him into the room. She sat down on the chair across from his desk at his request, trying not to fidget. To calm herself, she fixed her gaze on the nameplate before her. _Arthur Kirkland_, it read in neat golden letters.

"Miss Wang."

She raised her eyes quickly.

"Yes?"

Her boss adjusted his collar before sitting down. He folded his arms on his desk.

"You seem a bit… distracted lately. Normally there would be some repercussions, but this isn't like you at all. Are you all right?"

Looking into Mr. Kirkland's concerned green eyes, Mei swallowed and replied,

"I'm fine. And I'm sorry about that; I guess I've just had a lot on my mind lately."

He nodded slowly.

"I won't pry. Just, er… get some more sleep. And take it easy."

She smiled at him gratefully.

"Thank you, Mr. Kirkland."

He nodded curtly and turned back to his work. Mei walked out hesitantly, listening to her heels click on the marbled floors.

This was getting ridiculous. She had been thinking about her dream again when she had bumped into her boss and spilled his water on him. The silver man was taking over her mind, and it was affecting her daily performance. She went back to her cubicle and sat at her computer, unmoving. A few minutes passed. Suddenly—

"You all right?"

She whipped her head around and found Yong Soo standing at the entrance of her cubicle. Alfred was there too, staring at her with his mouth in mid-smile.

"I'm fine," Mei nodded cheerfully, trying to still the frenzied palpitating in her chest. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We were just talking about Alfred's promotion. More importantly," Yong Soo raised an eyebrow at her. "What were you doing in the boss' office?"

Mei almost facepalmed. Nosy coworkers…

"He just wanted to ask me something. Anyway, Alfred, a promotion? Congratulations!"

The blond man swelled up with pride.

"Thanks! It was pretty unexpected, 'cause I thought Kirkland hated me." Typical Alfred; he was the only one oblivious to the fact that Kirkland probably liked him most out of all the employees. Mei nodded and smiled.

"Well, good luck. And Yong, don't worry about me."

He pouted a little.

"But—"

"Really." Mei glared a bit at him. He sighed.

"All riiiiiight."

She nodded at him as he and Alfred walked away. When she was sure that no one else was around, she patted her cheeks briskly. Her eyelids were drooping.

* * *

><p>"The name of my childhood friend who once gave me a plant for my birthday. I can't remember it," she told the silver man. He raised an eyebrow at her abrupt greeting but assumed his meditative position. After a while, he shook his head.<p>

"I guess you've decided to help me, then?" he inquired on another note, getting up. "Am I no longer a dream person?"

"I've concluded that you can't just be a figment of my imagination. I've never even thought about psychics before, much less been interested in memories," she informed him, wondering if she was making the right choice. "So either this is really happening or I'm more creative than I think I am."

The silver man grinned wryly.

"Perhaps both. Any questions for me tonight?"

"Yes." She rehearsed them privately in her mind before asking out loud, "Why are you here really? What is this thing that you're searching for?"

"Well—"

"And another thing," she went on relentlessly. "It's a little odd talking to you from so far away."

The silver man crossed his arms exasperatedly. He huffed; then, for the first time since she'd started having these dreams, he walked towards her. One step, two steps, three steps; then he was before her within an arm's length. Now that she could see him close up, she found that he was more white than silver. His clothes were white, his skin was like paper, and even his hair was drained of color. The most intriguing part of him was his eyes. His irises were like glass, transparent, with only the slightest tinge of shine. And his pupils contrasted sharply with the rest of him. They were coal-black and stood out like obsidians against alabaster. Despite his strange coloring, there was a cold beauty about his features. She found herself unable to speak. He sighed.

"Are you happy now?" Even his voice, now that she could clearly see where it was coming from, sounded more otherworldly than before.

"I—Well, you haven't answered my question yet." Who was this man, and how could he possibly be anything more than a dream?

"All right. I might as well tell you everything." He sighed again and let his arms fall to his sides. "I'm searching for my consciousness. I lost it about two years ago and have been looking for it ever since."

"Your… consciousness?" She didn't understand.

"Yes. The consciousness—what keeps you awake and functioning. Well, I lost it, and now I need to find it."

"But how do you lose your consciousness? I don't understand."

"When you spend too much time in the Remscape, you can become trapped in your subconscious form. Then your consciousness escapes and you can't wake up."

She stared at him.

"Is that why you always tell me to leave after a certain time?"

He shrugged.

"I was foolish, and there were dire consequences. Why should you have to go through that? It would be even worse since you're not a psychic."

"Okay. But if you can't wake up," she realized, "Then what are you doing now?'

The silver man smiled at her.

"I'm in a coma. I've been in one for two years."

Two years?

"Then," Everything was coming to her now. "You are real? I'm not just dreaming you?"

"I guess not."

"I—" It was so much to take in. "So you've been searching all this time?"

"Yes. I've hopped from subconscious to subconscious, trying to sense if my consciousness was contained in that person's memories. I hadn't had any luck until I found you."

She was dumbfounded.

"But I'm just a regular person! I haven't had any tragedies or scarring or anything; why did your consciousness latch onto my memories?"

He snorted softly.

"The consciousness doesn't choose where it wants to go. It just happened to find one of your memories." The silver man shrugged. "Sorry."

"So, what happens when you find your consciousness?"

"I would assume that I wake up."

"And… nothing happens to you in the meantime? No side effects or anything?"

"I don't think so."

"Okay." She rocked on her heels. After a while, she asked, as small talk, "Well, what's your name?"

"Emil Ingólfursson."

"And have you always been…" She tried to think of a way to describe him. "White?"

He chuckled.

"No. After I lost my consciousness, my subconscious was drained of color for some reason."

"I see." There really wasn't much more to say, but she didn't want to leave just yet. So she asked the first thing on her mind.

"What color are your eyes? When you're awake, I mean."

The silver man—Emil—didn't say anything for countless moments. His forehead creased. After a while, he blinked several times.

"I don't remember."

* * *

><p>"Mei, wake up." An insistent tugging at her shoulder. "Wake up." It was such a kind voice, though why did it sound so concerned? "Mei…"<p>

"Huh?" She opened her eyes, blinking rapidly from the sunlight slatting into them. "Kiku?"

"You were talking in your sleep." He didn't sound upset exactly, just… wary.

"Was I?" She made a move to sit up, pulling some of the covers with her. "What was I saying?"

"I don't know, something about consciousnesses and white. But you've never sleep talked before." He tilted her head, looking into her eyes, feeling her forehead. "I'm getting worried."

"I'm sure it's fine." Mei wanted to tell him about her dreams, but he would probably just think that she was going crazy. Then he'd try to do checkups on her and she really had no time or dignity for that. "Did I wake you up again?"

"It doesn't matter." Kiku looked at her pleadingly. "Mei… you would tell me if anything were bothering you, right? Even if it was something emotional. I'm not just a doctor; I'm also your fiancé."

Mei hung her head.

"I know. And… yes, I would." White lies didn't hurt, right?

Kiku nodded, still looking a little unconvinced.

"Well, if you say it's okay. Just promise me you'll come to me if anything is bothering you."

"Okay." She leaned over and put her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. "I love you," she said softly. A hand came to rest on the back of her head.

"I love you too. We should probably get up now."

So they both climbed out of bed to start their day.

* * *

><p>Yep. :D<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

It's been quite a while since I last updated ^^' (But I'm sort of losing interest in this fanfic, so forgive me.)

Please go ahead!

* * *

><p>As he had said he would, the silver man met her in the Remscape every night. At first, she was wary of him. Dream or not, he was still a stranger; common sense told her not to get too close to him. However, as they spent more and more time together, she realized that he was no mere stranger. He was going through her memories with her, a gesture that was more intimate than anything that she had ever done with another person before. Gradually, she came to share little parts of her life with him. She told him about her work, about Kiku, about her likes and peeves. She eventually told him so much about herself that she was sure he knew her as well as those around her did. In turn, he relayed to her information about the Remscape, some of what he remembered from when he had been conscious, and the adventures that he had gone on during his time in the dreamland. Through this, they gradually learned to trust each other. Over time, she even learned to put "the silver man" behind her and think of him by his actual name.<p>

Sometime into their numerous encounters, Emil Ingólfursson said quite out of the blue,

"I have a brother."

"Oh?"

They had just gone through another unsuccessful memory and were now sitting on the darkness together. She made small circles of light with her fingers as she listened to him.

"Yes. He's older; his name is Niels."

"It must be difficult, not being able to see him."

"I can, actually. We can only see each other, not touch each other or anything, but I can." Emil shifted restlessly. "He's a psychic too. In fact, he was the one who taught me how to control my subconscious."

"So you can meet each other."

"He visits when he's not busy searching for my consciousness."

She raised her eyebrows.

"He's looking too?"

"Yes; he feels… responsible for my current condition." Emil picked at his spotless shirtsleeve. "I've told him not to worry about it but he keeps going on nonetheless."

"But I though you said your consciousness was with me."

He stopped fidgeting.

"Truth is, I'm not entirely sure. And if my hunch is incorrect, I'll have to keep searching. So my brother is doing me a big favor." He resumed his anxious movements.

She watched his legerdemain for a while before stating,

"It seems like a huge gamble to concentrate all of your focus on me."

"It's a necessary risk."

"Uh huh."

They were silent again. Then she inquired as a parting question,

"How old are you anyway?"

"Um…" Emil narrowed his eyes, straining. His mouth opened and closed. "… Right. I'm twenty now." He nodded as if to reassure himself.

Same as she was, she was startled to realize.

"So am I," she told him, thinking about the dangerous game he was playing and the brother he couldn't hold anymore. Then she woke up.

* * *

><p>"I'm going on a business trip for the next week or so," Mei told Kiku over the dinner table. He looked at her quickly before turning back to his beef noodle soup.<p>

"Where?"

"Germany. Mr. Kirkland wants to negotiate something with Beilschmidt Corporations, so he's sending me and Lars to scout things out."

"You're going with Lars?"

"Yes. Don't worry, I'll be good," she teased. Kiku barely mustered up a smile. Mei faltered. She felt terrible. They hadn't been able to spend much time together recently due to their busy schedules. Plus, the dream encounters she was having at night weren't doing much for her temper and sleep. Kiku was, as a result, left to himself most of the time. Mei felt the urge to apologize.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, wishing that he would look at her. He didn't.

"Why?"

Mei put down her bowl and folded her hands in her lap.

"Because we haven't been able to do anything together lately. And I'm sure you must think that I'm acting strange." She was waking up at about six now (a result of the dreams) when before she could stay in bed until eleven. Furthermore, she had stopped wanting to go shopping on the weekends because she wanted to either catch up on sleep or do extra work to prove to her boss and coworkers that she was still on top of things.

Kiku finally met her eyes.

"I don't hold anything against you. It's the corporate rush season, so I know you're busy and need to rest. I've been working a lot too." He stared down at his hands, smiling a little. "More patients are coming in."

"Really? That's great!" Kiku had been trying for a long time to make his little clinic more well known. Mei was happy that his efforts were finally paying off, though she was still guilty that she hadn't told him about her dreams. He didn't need that kind of pressure anyway, she tried to convince herself.

Her companion stood up and took her empty bowl.

I'll meet you in the bedroom," he said, going to the sink. "And when are you leaving?'

"Tomorrow night."

"Good luck." His voice was light and caring again. Before she went to the bedroom, Mei went up to Kiku and put her arms around him.

"Thank you," she told him quietly, with all of the affection that she could put into her voice. "And you know that you mean the world to me, right?"

He grinned and set the bowls down, drawing her into a kiss. It lasted for several seconds; when it ended, he gazed at her.

"I know."

She nodded, still feeling regretful, and disappeared into the bedroom. The water from the sink was still running even as she fell asleep.

* * *

><p>"A brownstone, huh?" Lars whistled lowly. "Expensive to get and to maintain."<p>

Mei shrugged, leaning back into the hard airport seat.

"We've—Well, I've—always dreamed of living in one. They seem so elegant. And I think it would be a boost to our self-esteems too." She laughed a little as she said that. Her coworker shook his head.

"I know. My sister wanted to get one too. Then she met Antonio," A sour look passed over his face. "And got saddled with two brats."

Mei raised an eyebrow at him.

"I thought you loved those 'brats.'"

"Well, sure, but that doesn't mean I don't think they're pains in the ass to take care of." Lars blew some air onto his upper lip. "Kids."

"So I guess you won't be having any anytime soon?"

"Nah. Maybe I'll consider it when I decide to settle down."

"And when will that be?"

Lars crossed his arms.

"I don't know. I kinda like hooking up with different people."

Mei punched him playfully on the arm.

"You're the epitome of debauchery."

"I know."

At that moment, the announcement for passengers to start boarding came on over the loudspeaker. The two took their belongings and went to stand on line. After they had given in their boarding passes, Lars asked Mei fleetingly,

"How are you and Kiku?"

She bit her lip.

"We're fine. A little busy, but we try to work around that." But was she really? She couldn't say anything for Kiku, but she didn't know if she was actively engaged in trying to spend more time with her partner.

Lars was silent as they found their seats. It was only when the plane started to move that he asked, completely straight-faced,

"When's the wedding?"

Mei looked at him in surprise before breaking out into a grin.

"You'll know when you get the invitation."

And he had to settle for that once the plane took off and their ears started popping.

* * *

><p>"Where are you?" Emil immediately asked when she appeared in the Remscape. She took a moment to process the question before replying,<p>

"An airplane. Why?'

"You seem more tired than usual."

She scowled.

"It's also because I wake up at six every morning, thanks to our encounters."

He shrugged.

"Sorry. I have no jurisdiction over that."

Then they sat down to work with her latest memory: a favorite poem of hers as an adolescent that she couldn't recall. After they concluded that it wasn't the right one, they sat back to talk.

"What is the current year?" Emil asked after a while. He sounded anxious.

"2011. Have you forgotten already?" she teased. He shook his head and closed his eyes.

"No, it's just…" He stopped. "Whatever."

She thought to probe more deeply into it but decided that it was no big deal. So they didn't talk for a while.

"I've been having a hard time searching for more memories," she eventually remarked absentmindedly, dabbling her fingers in the darkness. Her companion watched the trails of light that followed the movements of her hand.

"Why do you think that is?"

"Well, it's probably that I just can't remember anymore," she reasoned. "And maybe because I still can't believe this is happening."

"Why is that?" He turned to look at her with his strange, beautiful eyes. She gazed into them, hypnotized. Her voice emerged as an entranced whisper.

"It's hard to think that you're a real person who is in a coma far away, and yet I can meet you here. And in a dreamland, no less."

"Okay. But that's not the main reason, is it?" He regarded her coolly.

"No," she admitted, wondering how he could see through her. Though maybe it wasn't so unexpected, since he had been sifting through her memories for quite some time. "It's also that… I can't believe I'm actually here. It feels like I'm a different being entirely and, well… I can't think of myself as the same person who I am when I'm awake."

Emil took all of this in pensively. He gazed into her eyes, into _her_.

"Who are you?" he asked quite suddenly. She started, looking puzzled.

"…Wang Mei-Ling," she stated tentatively. He nodded satisfiedly and leaned back.

"Exactly. You are Wang Mei-Ling and you will always be Wang Mei-Ling, even when you are in the Remscape. If you hold onto this as your truest conviction, then perhaps it will help the flow of your memories.

"You don't seem like you're a twenty year-old sometimes," she grimaced. "More like an eighty year-old philosopher."

He scowled at her but reminded her,

"Remember who you are. Which is…?"

"Wang Mei-Ling. I'm Wang Mei-Ling. I'm Wang Mei-Ling…"

She was muttering even as the darkness overtook her.

* * *

><p>"Hi sweetheart," Mei cooed into the phone, twirling the cord around her finger.<p>

"Hi. How's Germany?" Kiku replied. It sounded like he was doing something in the background.

"Nice. We got here at six in the morning."

He laughed.

"So you were able to see the country immediately upon waking up."

"You could say that." Actually, what she had seen was a confused Lars asking her why she kept telling herself that she was Wang Mei-Ling. She'd passed it off as a dream. "What are you doing?"

"Microwaving dinner."

"Aw! Is there nothing else to eat?"

"I'm just too tired to make anything." The fatigue was evident in his voice.

"More patients?"

"Yeah." There was a smile in his tone now. "But if you tell me about your day, it might make me feel better."

"Okay! Well, we got out of the airport and…" As she talked, Mei wondered for the first time whether their relationship was changing. It had been an innocent love when they first met; was it still like that, though? They were moving onto a more mature stage in their lives, and adding on her dreams… she wasn't sure whether they were getting closer or…

"And the hotel is nice, we managed to get rooms next to each other. Talks with Beilschmidt Corporations start tomorrow," she concluded, brushing away the thoughts that she couldn't bear to face. "Are you feeling better now?"

"After hearing your voice, much better."

Mei smiled at that.

"Don't overwork yourself, okay?" she told him softly. "I don't want you to turn into an old man while I'm gone."

"All right." A pause. "And how are you? Are you feeling okay?"

She snorted.

"Don't worry about me, Doc. I feel great. Just a little queasy from the flight."

"You've never been good with airplanes," Kiku mused. Mei frowned.

"I'm sticking my tongue out at you right now."

"I'm used to it. Well, I'll let you get some sleep. Good night."

"Good night." She waited until the click of the call disconnecting was heard. Then she hung the receiver back in its cradle and flopped onto the bed. It was so warm and inviting…

Within the next five minutes, she had succumbed to her fatigue.

* * *

><p>On her third night in Germany, Mei entered the Remscape to find Emil looking gravely into the distance.<p>

"Hey," she called, ignoring the echoes that sprang to life like thunder. He turned as if he had just noticed her and gave her an odd semi-smile.

"Hello. Do you have a memory?"

She nodded. Ever since she had learned to accept herself as Mei both in and out of her consciousness, finding lost memories had gotten easier. She told him that after they went through the latest unsuccessful memory. Emil nodded.

"That's good." He appeared to be distracted, his already vacant eyes now entirely blank. Mei frowned.

"What's wrong?"

He darted his eyes back and forth; then they came to rest on her.

"Do you remember," he asked in a measured voice. "When you asked me whether there were any side effects to being in the Remscape for too long?"

"Yes…" She didn't like where this was going. Emil's mouth thinned into a line.

"I was wrong. There is a side effect." He said it bluntly and apathetically. It made Mei worry.

"What is it?"

Emil hesitated before replying in a weak, strangled voice,

"I'm losing my memories. I always have been."

"What?"

"Yes!" He stood up abruptly and forcefully, pacing about on the darkness. Light was emitted in great flashes under the onslaught of his feet. "Today, I realized that I forgot my parents' names. I almost forgot my brother's name too, except that he came and visited me just in time." Emil was possessed now. His voice ripped out in raw, ragged bursts, and he moved unceasingly. Mei became frightened.

"Well, what do we do?" she cried out, rocking her eardrums. The man stopped and turned to her slowly. He was a distance away, so she couldn't make out his features very well.

"We'll have to speed up the memory processing." He was serene now, like the calm before the storm. "We'll have to go through at least two memories a night."

"Is it that serious?" She was incredulous.

"Yes. I need you to help me, so—"

"How fast are you losing your memories?" Mei interrupted, feeling a slight wave of panic flood over her. Emil threw his arms up and fisted his hair in his hands.

"I don't know!" he growled, gritting his teeth. "And the worst thing is…" He slowly let his arms drop to his sides. His back was still to her.

"What?' she asked, dreading the answer.

Emil slowly turned to her. His glass colored eyes were roiling with fear and turmoil.

"The worst thing is… I'm afraid that I'll forget what I've been searching for." His voice was deafening in its quietness. Mei swallowed.

"I'll remind you," she promised. "I'll—"

"But what if I forget how to sort through memories?" he interjected. "Then what?"

They stood there, floundering in mutual horror. Gradually, Mei confirmed resignedly,

"So, at least two memories a night?"

Emil nodded dully.

"That would be appreciated."

She took in his slender, defeated form and his perpetual, fragile beauty.

"All right. Just give me some time."

As Mei faded away, she thought she heard Emil mutter,

"Hurry. I don't have much left."

* * *

><p>Thanks for getting up to this point!<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Wow, almost the last chapter! I can't say this fic was very good, but I guess I sort of had fun writing it. :)

Anyway, go ahead.

* * *

><p>"Mei. Mei, listen."<p>

She blinked her eyes a bit, returning to the present.

"What happened?"

Kiku looked at her with obvious concern.

"You've been dazing off a lot."

"Have I?" Of course she had; she had to rustle up two memories a day now, after all.

Her companion eyed her carefully; then he sat down next to her on the bed.

"Mei," he began delicately. "Is there—Is there something that you're keeping from me?"

Mei drew in a sharp intake of breath.

"…It's nothing," she finally muttered, looking away. Even if she told him, it wouldn't make a difference; it wasn't like he could help her sort out her own memories.

"I don't believe you." His blunt statement shocked her into looking up.

"Kiku…" She saw that his mouth was set into a grave line and that his usually warm eyes were cool. His entire expression was dark with worry and… suspicion.

"What's wrong?"

He appeared to be torn between telling her how he really felt and fearing for her well-being.

"Truthfully speaking," he finally said. "You've been like an entirely different person lately. You don't go out anymore, you always seem fatigued, and we don't spend much time together. Something is bothering you; I wish you would tell me what it is."

She should have expected that he would notice these things. Kiku wasn't an idiot. Nevertheless, she tried to brush it off.

"I'm really fine. I've been thinking a lot recently; that's all."

"Thinking about what?" His voice was wounded now. Mei supposed that, after she had told him everything for so many years, her newly acquired secrecy was an unwelcome transition. She didn't like hiding things from him either, but she couldn't afford to deal with any complications that might arise if he found out about her dreams. For some reason, she was urgently compelled to help Emil Ingólfursson. Perhaps they had gotten to know each other and had become closer; perhaps it was because she was intrigued by him. Either way, she was going to assist him at any cost—

"Is it…" Kiku swallowed hard, turning his head. Despite not looking into his eyes straight on, Mei knew that they were filled with hurt and confusion. "Is it… me?"

She stared at him, mouth agape.

"No!" Making a move towards him, she was astonished when he flinched away. "No! It could never be you!"

Kiku suddenly gazed at her piercingly.

"Then what is it? If it's not our relationship, then what is bothering you? You barely look at me anymore, you didn't call for most of your business trip, you—" He stopped himself and glanced away. Mei could only watch him and feel tears fill her eyes. She gripped the bedsheets, the only things nearby that she could anchor herself to in this upside-down world.

Kiku gradually spoke again. His voice was quiet.

"Is it someone from work?"

Mei choked. But he continued.

"Is it Yong Soo? Alfred?" Pausing, he then asked slowly, "Is it Lars?"

"No!" The word exploded out of Mei's mouth, unleashing a deluge of sobs. "I'm not seeing anyone else, I only love you—" Cries ripped out of her throat, and she covered her mouth to muffle the sounds. "I'm not lying!"

Kiku sat there amidst her tears, seemingly lost. Eventually, he stood up, facing away.

"I'm not sure what to believe anymore," he said lowly, and exited the room. Mei was left to herself, gripping her arms tightly to try and stave off her wretched cries.

Gradually, the rasping breaths that punctuated her sobs subsided. The tears began to run dry, and she was finally able to think.

The dreams were destroying her relationship with friends and loved ones. It had started with her coworkers and progressed to Kiku; Kiku, who had been so sweet and understanding to her all these years. And because she felt the need to help a near stranger who was as ephemeral as a dream, she was alienating the one who loved her most. Maybe telling him what was really the matter was the right thing to do. But sharing the whole truth could complicate already difficult matters…

Mei slowly got up, walked to her desk, took a sheet of paper, and wrote the words "My dreams" on it. She placed it on the bedside table for Kiku when he returned. Then she turned off the lights and fell asleep once more.

* * *

><p>He was getting worse.<p>

Over the last few visits, Mei had found that Emil's recollective ability was deteriorating at a frightening, unpredictable pace. One night he would forget what day of the week it was; another night he would wonder how long he had been there. When he asked her where they were one day, Mei realized how dire his condition was. She tried to fulfill the quota of at least two memories a day, but to her growing frustration, none of the memories were the correct one.

This, coupled with her troubles in the conscious world, threatened to tear her sanity apart.

* * *

><p>"Where are they?" Mei coughed from the dust as she unearthed another box in the storage. She tore off the packaging tape sealing it shut, revealing an old lamp. "Damn it!" Scanning the room quickly, she spotted another package and went to examine it. Stacks of opened boxes lay in the corner, along with some large photo albums that she had flipped though already. None of them had managed to stir up any old memories for her, and so Mei kept searching for more relics from her past.<p>

The next box contained some pots; she pushed them aside and turned her attention to another box nearby.

How long had she been at this already? A few hours, most likely. Still, she hadn't made any progress. Yet surely there was _something_ that could be a trigger for her lost memories; she just had to keep looking.

On her tenth box, she vaguely heard someone opening the front door and calling out a greeting. Her movements grew more frenzied. She ripped open boxes with haste and shoved them aside when she did not find what she was looking for. Snatching up another sealed package, she tore the tape off and pulled out an album. She flipped through the pages frantically. As footsteps were heard advancing towards the storage, she threw the useless book onto the floor in a great crash and ripped at another box. The tape wouldn't come off no matter how much she scratched and pulled. Just as Kiku burst into the room, eyes wide with fear, Mei raked her torn nails over the top of the box and screamed,

"_Why can't I find them?_"

Then arms were restraining her and Kiku was loudly telling her to calm down and she was hyperventilating and all the while, she knew that she had failed, failed, and Emil Ingólfursson was going to be stuck forever in the Remscape as a wraith with memories of smoke.

* * *

><p>"All right, Miss Wang. I recommend that you use this medication. Just take one of the pills everyday before going to sleep. They are supposed to prevent you from dreaming." The psychiatrist, a cheerful looking man with an odd curl of hair, smiled at Mei and handed her a prescription. She smiled back blankly but fixated on the curl.<p>

She had revealed the nature of her dreams to this man in the last few hours, detailing everything from the Remscape to the search for her lost memories. The psychiatrist had diagnosed her with excessive stress and memory repression and suggested that she take some medicine.

Beside her, sitting on a foldable chair, Kiku nodded and addressed the psychiatrist.

"Thank you, Feliciano. I don't know how I can make this up to you."

"It was no problem, Kiku! Just make sure that Miss Wang takes the medicine everyday for at least a month and see that she doesn't overwork herself. If she has anything on her mind, ask her to share it out loud."

Kiku looked at her sideways and replied,

"I'll try my best."

After that, they left the clinic. As they went, Kiku apologized softly,

"I know you didn't want to see a psychiatrist, but I felt that it was the best thing to do after that… episode the other day. Please try to understand."

Mei made no reaction but kept staring straight ahead with dull eyes. Kiku watched her concernedly and took her hand in his. She still made no movement to indicate that she had felt anything.

Now that Kiku had brought her to see his psychiatrist friend, he would certainly make sure that Mei followed the directions given very meticulously. She would have to take the pills, which meant…

She wouldn't be able to enter the Remscape.

She wouldn't be able to help Emil.

The realization sat like lead in the pit of her stomach.

That night, as Mei stared at the bottle of pills in her hand, she fancied that she could just pretend to take the medicine. Emil needed help urgently, after all, and in his erratic state she wasn't sure how long it would take until he lost his memories entirely.

Just as she was about to put the pills back in the medicine cabinet, Kiku materialized by the doorway. He looked at her sadly.

"You didn't take them, did you?"

Mei took in his haggard countenance. He had been preoccupying himself with her ever since their latest misunderstanding, and her breakdown in the storage room was taking its toll on him as well. The dark circles under his eyes tore at her heart. But if she took the pills like he wanted her to, then Emil would be in dire trouble. Then again, if she helped Emil, who knew what would happen to her and Kiku…

Who was more important to her? Who…

Mei unscrewed the cap of the pill bottle, shaking out one pill into the palm of her hand. Under Kiku's watchful gaze, she put the pill into her mouth and swallowed. He gave her the first genuine smile he'd worn in days. As she fell into his embrace, she wondered if she had just damned Emil for eternity.

* * *

><p>It had been three days since she had started taking the medication and three days since she had last seen Emil. Kiku had dutifully stayed by her as she had gulped down a pill each night; she suspected that he would do so until the preliminary month was over. Gradually, she had become accustomed to his warm touches and caresses again. The present life—reality—began to offer the same promise that it once had. She could look at her coworkers like she used to, chat and laugh and joke with them as always. Mr. Kirkland was considering giving her a raise. Weekends were spent shopping with Kiku. The bags under her eyes were beginning to disappear.<p>

Yet through this all, she couldn't help but remember the mysterious silver man who had so earnestly pleaded for her help. He was miles away now, though, both in her mind and in literal distance. Even if she tried, she didn't think that it was possible for her to dig up anymore memories. She had exhausted herself doing that once; now, as time passed by, she grew loathe to do it again.

Surely there was no hope for the dream man now. Her heart reached out to him for a moment; then it was borne away by the rising sun.

* * *

><p>Thanks!<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Well, this is the last chapter! At least it's longer, right?

Notes:

Qing Ming Festival (April 4 or 5 in the Lunar calendar)- You go to sweep your relatives' graves and pray to them as well as set food out for them to"feed" them (later on, you eat the food for yourself after their spirits have "eaten"). Kids also fly kites and stuff on the side.

Hope that clears everything up. :)

* * *

><p>It was a Monday (four days since). Kiku was still hard at work at his clinic. Upon successfully forming a partnership with Beilschmidt Corporations, Mr. Kirkland had let everyone in the office take a half day off. So she was currently at home, staring at the TV but not really watching it. Idly, her eyes wandered to the vase on the windowsill. It had been a present from a friend, given upon learning about her and Kiku's engagement. She liked it; it was a pretty whitish color with a silvery sheen. About the lip was a rim of black, and the inside was painted a nice shade of lavender. After staring at it for a time, she was suddenly reminded of pitch black dotted with trailing light, the comforting support of darkness that could withstand the weight accompanying two pairs of feet, a muted voice from far away acknowledging the lightning quick passage of time.<p>

The laptop was a few inches away; she reached for it and lifted its silver top. A search engine popped up instantly. After a moment of deliberation, she typed in the words "Emil Ingólfursson" with erratic hesitancy.

It took a few tries to get the spelling right and afterwards, it required a few minutes of searching, but she finally alighted on a link that seemed relevant. A social networking site, where someone whose profile picture was a puffin and whose name was put as "E. Ingólfursson" had checked in at Clark's Hospital. She scrutinized the post closely; it had been put on the site about two years ago. Pulling up another tab, she looked up the location of the hospital. Her eyes widened. She stood up and fetched her keys and wallet. The answering machine caught her eye; she left a message informing Kiku that she would be back probably sometime in the evening. Then she left the apartment.

* * *

><p>The bus ride took about forty minutes. She gazed out the window for the entire trip, watching the landscape change from urban to suburban to the brink of rural. After she had disembarked the bus, she stood in front of Clark's Hospital. It was a compact, austere building; windows were columned out in rigid lines spanning the length of the walls. The lobby was white and unyielding as well. As she approached the receptionist's desk, a serious looking woman with glasses (and a deck of cards in her pocket, how strange) asked her for her name and business.<p>

"Mei-Ling Wang," she replied, recalling for a fleeting moment the voice of someone telling her that her identity should be her greatest conviction. "I'd like to visit someone."

"Who is the patient and what is your relation to him or her?" the woman (whose name Mei now saw was Charlotte Monaco) asked briskly.

"Emil Ingólfursson. I'm… a friend." She supposed that they were on the level of friends, having spent so many nights conversing with each other.

Charlotte Monaco pushed a clipboard and pen at her from across the counter.

"Please fill out this visitor's form."

Mei took the clipboard and sat down in a waiting room seat. After she had written in all the necessary information (it was a good thing she and Emil had gotten to know each other so well), she handed the clipboard back to the receptionist and was promptly told to wait while an escort was being paged.

It was a long wait. Bored, Mei glanced around. There was a man with a handsome, tired face and long, blond hair sitting next to her. He didn't seem to be doing much at the moment, just crossing his arms and staring melancholically at the floor. For lack of anything better to do, Mei asked softly,

"Are you waiting to see someone also?"

The man's fatigued blue eyes turned to her. He smiled a little and replied,

"Yes. My wife."

"Oh." Perhaps she shouldn't intrude. But the man pointed out,

"You are also here to see someone, yes?"

Mei smiled at him.

"A friend," she said after a while.

"Do you visit regularly?" the man inquired. "I don't think I've seen you around before."

Mei shook her head.

"I haven't had much time to visit."

"I see."

Five minutes passed and the escort still hadn't arrived. Then—

"My wife was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's." The man's eyes were sad. "She hasn't recognized me for about a year now."

Mei's eyes widened in shock and sympathy.

"That—I can't imagine the hardships you must go through."

"It's hard for me, that's true. The children have it even worse. They miss their mother."

They shared a moment of silence. Eventually, the man asked,

"What about your friend?"

"He's… in a coma," she replied before a nurse finally appeared to lead her away. Her last glimpse of the man was his pitying expression that seemed to hold an odd spark of empathy.

* * *

><p>"Visiting time for each visitor is limited to one hour a day," Nurse Elizaveta Héderváry informed Mei cheerfully as they rode up the elevator. "Please leave all food and drink outside the room."<p>

"Okay." She followed the nurse to the end of a long hallway. There was an unassuming wooden door there, same as all the others. It was into here that Mei was directed.

"He hasn't woken up yet, as you can see," Miss Héderváry explained apologetically. "But he hasn't worsened. Somewhere in there, he's still functioning." Then she left the room.

The room was darkened. In the middle was a bed; beside that was a chair. She went to sit on it, wincing at how the rustling she made disturbed the dead silence. Then she started to examine the man who had sought her out in her dreams.

He was pale, very pale, and she was astonished to discover that his hair was almost the same color that it was in the Remscape; just a little springier and more of a very light grey. In contrast to the way his subconscious was dressed, he was wearing a pale green hospital gown. IV's and tubes hooked up to frightening machines were pricked into the near-translucent skin of his arms, and an oxygen mask obscured much of his face. His eyes were closed. Despite all of this, his fine features remained unmarred.

Mei watched the man who was Emil Ingólfursson lie on the bed, unmoving. Well, here was the proof that he was indeed a real person. Because of her, he was still in this coma that had trapped him for the last two years. But what could she do now? Memoryless, potentially unstable, just returning to the brink of life… She was useless. She reached out and touched his hand with her fingertips. It was cool and dry.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes tracing the tiny blue blood vessels that patterned his eyelids. Before the hour was up, she had gathered her belongings and left the room.

* * *

><p>"Mei, there's a phone call for you," Kiku called from the living room. Fresh out of her morning shower, Mei went over to the phone in the bedroom and picked it up.<p>

"Hello?"

"Mei!"

"Ge?" It was Yao, her older brother. He didn't call much, only on her birthday and various holidays. She wrinkled her nose. It wasn't her birthday, so it had to be—

"Did you forget that it's the Qing Ming Festival today?"

Her eyes widened.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry—"

"Don't be sorry to me! Be sorry to Ba and Ma, they're the ones whose graves we have to be sweeping—"

"Okay, okay, I'll be right over!" Mei hung up in the midst of her brother's preaching and rushed to get dressed. Then she skidded out into the living room, startling Kiku.

"What's the matter?" he asked, bemused.

"It's the Qing Ming Festival today, and I totally forgot! I have to get to my brother's house right away."

"All right." He thought for a moment. "Do you need taxi fare?"

"No, I've got it." Grabbing her jacket, she kissed him distractedly and ran out the door. "Bye!"

"See you later," she thought she heard him call after her. She ran outside, flagged down a taxi, and prayed that there would be little traffic.

* * *

><p>"I'm here!" Mei hopped out of the cab, spotting her brothers in front of Yao's house. She ran towards them. "I'm sorry!"<p>

"Whatever," Xiang, her younger brother, replied. "At least you got here."

"Right." Yao glanced at his watch. "Let's go, then."

Mei took one of the bags that her brothers were carrying and followed them to the cemetery. It was a long walk, yet Yao insisted that they go by foot to maintain tradition and to honor their parents' memory. Thus, it was after about thirty minutes that they finally sighted the tips of gravestones rising over the green knoll of the cemetery. Yao led them to their parents' graves. The headstones were in relatively good condition, a result of the six Qing Ming Festivals that they siblings had spent here after their parents had passed away.

Mei set down her bag, which contained brooms for sweeping the graves. Xiang's had incense and materials for building a temporary shrine. Yao put down his bag (food) and began to organize everything.

"Come on, let's hurry. It's almost one o'clock!"

Together, they managed to set up the shrine and put the food out as offerings. Then each took a stick of incense and paid their respects to their deceased parents. Mei could hear Yao adding in a report on how things had been going lately, while Xiang was asking them how they were doing in the afterlife. She chose to thank them for raising them so well.

"I've been going through some tough times lately," she admitted quietly. "But I'm getting through it. Kiku's been helping me. He sends his respects too. So don't worry, and Yao, Xiang, and I are all very happy."

After the praying was over, they took the food that had been set out before and began to have lunch. Mei moved out of the way of the blowing incense fumes and nibbled at her pork bun.

Their parents had died of old age; it was as simples as that. They had had their children late and so weren't able to stay with them as long. Nevertheless, they had instilled in the siblings good manners and knowledge, helping them to become successful and to find their ways in the world. Their loss was still felt deeply, even after six years. But then, hadn't her father's last words been ones of encouragement? "Always keep moving. Work hard and have families so that you can become truly happy," he had told them. And their mother had said—

Well, their mother had said—

Mei wracked her brain furiously. Her mother had been on her death bed, sickly and pale, and she'd asked all her children to gather round. Then they had held her hands as she had said—

After a few moments spent trying to remember, Mei had to conclude that she'd forgotten her mother's last words. That was ridiculous, though, and shameful. What kind of ungrateful child forgot her mother's last words…?

Suddenly, Mei realized something. A memory that she'd lost, one that shouldn't have been forgotten… And this memory sent an odd wave of an indescribable feeling over her when she tried to recall it…

She knew what she had to do that night. For the first time in days, she began to entertain the possibility that perhaps not all was lost.

* * *

><p>"I have to work a little later tonight," Kiku apologized over the phone.<p>

"That's all right. Just don't work too hard!" Mei tried to keep her voice light.

There were some rustling sounds on the other end of the line.

"Did you take the pills?" Kiku's voice inquired tinnily.

"I just did," she lied, putting a smile in her voice. Then she forced a yawn. "I'm going to go to bed first, then, okay?"

"Go ahead. I'll see you at home."

"Good night." She hung up.

As she lay down on the bed, Mei felt some trepidation. What would she find in the Remscape when she got there? Would Emil even meet her? Would he be only an amnesiac ghost by now?

This wasn't the time to have doubts, she reminded herself. If she didn't take action now, it could really be too late. She squeezed her eyes shut.

Eventually, she had somehow made her way into the Remscape. There was darkness all around, but no white figure that stood out against it.

"Emil?" she called, looking around frantically. "Emil?" Her shouts reverberated throughout space, nearly deafening her. "Emil!"

What if he had forgotten his own name? What if he hadn't come?

Suddenly, she saw a white pinpoint of light in the distance that seemed to grow bigger as she watched. Like a star in the throes of a supernova, the dot grew larger and more distinct, gradually showing itself to be Emil in a white blaze. He came up to her warily. Looking into his eyes, she saw that his once black pupils were now stark white.

"Who are you?" he asked, sounding like a lost child. She tentatively stepped towards him.

"Mei. Wang Mei-Ling, don't you remember?" When he continued to stare at her uncomprehendingly, Mei felt a stabbing guilt in her chest. "Do you remember anything?"

"No… Where am I?"

What was she going to do now? She had been riding on the hope that he would have the faculties to at least know what to do.

She suddenly seized on an idea.

"Do you remember how to sort through memories?"

His face hardened.

"How do you know about that?"

"That doesn't matter!" She advanced towards him, stepping back apologetically when he shied away. "Just—Do you know how to sort through memories?"

"Yes, somewhat…" He sized her up suspiciously. "Why?"

"Here, I have one!" She fluttered her hands uselessly. "Ah… I can't remember my mother's last words. Quickly; I can't remember my mother's—!"

As Emil assumed his meditative position, a curious change began to come over him. He began to glow even more brightly than usual. Watching his clasped hands, Mei noticed that there was a soft purple light shining through the cage of his fingers.. Under her gaze, the pure white of Emil's skin turned into a healthy flesh color, various hues and shades began to bleed into his snowy clothing, and his hair took on the faintest hint of silver. As he threw open his eyes in shock, Mei saw that the glass of his irises had become amethyst. Black pupils were embedded in the center of each purple ring. His hands slowly opened to reveal a glowing purple orb that shone brighter and brighter until it threatened to negate the blackness around them. Mei watched all of this fascinatedly; when she turned back to Emil's eyes, she saw that they were full of understanding and remembrance. His mouth, so vibrantly colored now, formed the words "thank you." Then the light hid everything from sight and Mei fell into its blinding embrace.

* * *

><p>"Mei."<p>

She shifted on the bed, rolling over. Who was calling her when she was in the midst of such a sweet sleep?

"Mei."

She hid her head under the covers and heard a chuckle.

"Wake up, sleepyhead."

She finally blinked her eyes blearily. Her vision eventually cleared to show Kiku sitting beside her, leaning over her slightly. His eyes were amused.

"Did you sleep well?" he teased, helping her up. Mei rubbed at her eyes and yawned.

"Yeah, I guess. What time is it?"

"Nine thirty."

"Nine thir—" Her eyes expanded to comically wide proportions. "I'm late for work!"

Kiku patted her hand.

"Relax. I called in for you. Mr. Kirkland said it was fine."

"Oh. Okay, thank you."

"No problem. But I have to go to the clinic today. Can you stay home by yourself?"

She stuck her tongue out at him, feeling the best that she had ever felt in days.

"I'm not a child."

"I know." He got up and kissed her forehead. "I'll be off now."

She held him fast for a few seconds.

"Thank you for bearing with me," she murmured into his ear. She could feel him smile.

"Rest up. It's great that you're sleeping more." Then he was gone.

Mei sat in bed for a few moments. She suddenly remembered her mother telling her to always be kind before closing her eyes for the last time. Then, calling to mind the events of last night, she wondered what had happened to Emil. Did the memory work? Had he woken up? There was only one way to find out.

She took her keys and public transportation card once again, intending to be back by early afternoon. When she arrived at the bus stop, the bus was already there. She boarded it and wondered at her good luck. The ride was still long, but she noticed that the passing scenery seemed more vibrant, more alive.

When she reached Clark's Hospital, she stood outside for a moment to steel herself. Then she entered through the automatic doors. The receptionist was a shy, pretty young lady whose nametag read "Lili Zwingli."

"Emil Ingólfursson?' she repeated cheerfully when Mei asked to see him. "Let me look him up for you."

As Lili typed in the name, Mei thought about what she would say to Emil for their first encounter in person. Would he remember her? There was no telling what regaining his consciousness could do…

"Miss Wang?"

She snapped back to attention.

"Yes?"

"It seems that Mr. Ingólfursson was discharged early this morning. No one alerted you?"

"I… guess not," Mei faltered.

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry. But the good news is that he's woken up! So good luck, and have a nice day."

"Thank you," she said mechanically, walking out in a daze. Once outside, she leaned against the side wall of the hospital.

So that was it. She'd helped him wake up and now he was gone. Though hadn't that been what he had promised, after all? Yet Mei still felt numb. She had been hoping to get to know the conscious Emil Ingólfursson, she realized.

She hollowly noticed two young men standing by the side of the road. They appeared to be conversing, with lots of smiles and laughs being exchanged. One was a tall blond man with a cross barrette in his hair. And the other…

Mei pushed off the wall and walked hesitantly towards the two. When she was a few feet away, the man beside the blond one looked up at her with brilliant amethyst eyes. For a moment, he seemed puzzled. Then he sent a slow smile her way and turned away from his companion. Mei finally reached him and tentatively offered her hand.

"I'm Wang Mei-Ling…"

"And I'm Emil Ingólfursson." He grinned and clasped her hand in his. "It's nice to finally meet you in person."

Mei looked into his eyes and saw recognition. She beamed back at him.

"Likewise."

* * *

><p>Thank you for reading and reviewing! I admit that I hadn't worked very hard on this fic and it isn't that good, but I appreciate your kindness in keeping up with it. I guess that I had fun writing it in the end. Also sorry for the long waits for updates.<p> 


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